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If you choose, as a liberal, to remain active in the LDS Church, be sure
you stay for the right reason. Staying in the church for the sake of family,
or because staying seems easier than the alternatives, will not provide
you with as strong a foundation as if you stay because you have a testimony
that God wants you to stay. Once you have such a testimony, these suggestions
may help you cope with the continuing challenges:
Let people get to know you. Ward members' reactions
to the discovery that you have liberal views will be affected by the quality
of their relationship with you. People will probably react more positively
if they already know you as a good neighbor, a caring visiting teacher
or home teacher, a helpful volunteer at church, and so on.
Highlight common ground. As you interact with other
church members, speak more about the beliefs and values you have in common
than about those where you differ. When you comment in church classes
or give talks, ask the Spirit to give you words that will not create misunderstanding
and that will be edifying for your listeners (D&C
50:21-23). The principle of highlighting common ground can also
be applied to interviews with church leaders. Be sure your local leaders
see that you have a testimony of gospel principles, even if you also subscribe
to beliefs or practices they may perceive as unorthodox.
Avoid problematic church callings. Respectfully decline
callings that could put you in a position of feeling pressured to sacrifice
your personal integrity for the sake of conformity. Teaching and leadership
positions might put you at risk of this, for instance. If you are asked
to accept such a calling, take time to pray about it. If the Spirit cautions
you against accepting, explain that you feel strongly the calling wouldn't
be right for you, and offer to serve in some other way.
Build a supportive network. Pray to be led to people
who can support you, and whom you can support, in the practice of liberal
Mormon spirituality. You may have to look beyond your family for support,
and you will probably have to look beyond your ward—perhaps at organizations
like Sunstone or online. Your network might even be a textual community,
composed of authors, living or dead, whose approach to spirituality resonates
with you but whom you know only through their writings.
Stay close to the Spirit. Being a liberal in
a conservative church can be lonely, but the Spirit is a source of companionship
and support. Pray for greater charity and patience in your relationships
with other church members. If LDS church activity isn't enough to satisfy
all your spiritual needs, supplement your spiritual life with practices
that do. Keeping "spiritually fit" will be especially important
if you lack a strong support network or if you are eventually subjected
to church discipline.
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